NIGERIAN HISTORY

It was the first day of the session and a new Direct Entry student, Mensah, a Ghanaian, joined the class in one of Nigeria’s universities.

The lecturer said, “Let’s begin by reviewing Nigerian history.” He then asked, “who said ‘I shall return to die in the land of my father.’” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Mensah, who had his hand up.

Mensah replied, “King Jaja of Opobo, 1875.” “Very good!” said the lecturer, who then asked again, “Who said the Land Use Act would feed the nation?” again, no response, except from Mensah, “Obasanjo, 1976.” The lecturer snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Mensah, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.” The lecturer heard a loud whisper: “Ghana must go”. “Who said that?” she demanded. Mensah put his hand up, “Buhari, 1984.” At that point, a student in the back scornfully said, “Hmmm, you think you are smart.” The Lecturer glared and asked, “ All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Mensah said “Babangida to Abach, 1992.” Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Eat this!” Mensah jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the lecturer, “India mistress giving apple to Abacha, 1998!” Now, with almost mob hysteria, someone said, “You little, if you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Mensah frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004”  the Lecturer fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, “Oh God, we are in big trouble now!” Mensah whispered, “Chimaroke Nnamani, James Ibori, Ayodele Fayose, Lucky Igbinedon, 2007”.